Into the Darkness

Sometimes I think it would be fascinating if, just for a few minutes, we could get a glimpse inside the consciousness of another person–not in an invasive way and not to read their thoughts or criticize their conclusions, but just for the added reassurance that we are similar to another person mentally. I equate this to being a student, and working on an assignment where the directions are not quite as clear as they should be. If you look around, you’ll see other people glancing at the paper of their neighbour–not to copy the work of another person or to let someone else do the thinking, but more just to make sure one is “on the right track”.

For the most part, I tend to feel that, if someone were to step into my head and look around, they would probably run away in fear. I do wonder though, whether other people think the exact same thing and perhaps I am indeed, fairly normal as far as normal goes. I tend to be particularly protective of my dreams, because dreams to me are a re-enactment of the soul, either for what happened or what perhaps SHOULD HAVE happened. Sometimes though, my dreams go a few steps farther and take on a psychic nature. These are the ones where I truly wonder if I am unique, or if everyone else has these as well.

Recently, I had what I will call “an un-dream”, because clearly it cannot be described as a dream. When one is first falling asleep, there is that period of total darkness but an element of consciousness is still apparent–meaning, you know you’re awake but that you’re heading down the path to unconsciousness. Sometimes when I’m in this state, I can see little flashes and shadows, but they never take on a specific form and they’re gone as quickly as they appeared. I didn’t know it was possible to form objects out of the darkness, until today when I had an amazing un-dream experience. As I was drifting off to sleep, the shadows came–but this time, they formed, in the distance, one perfect, human, green eye. It was moving very slowly towards me, and as it got closer, I was able to pick out the face that accompanied the eye. It was a familiar face, yet I didn’t know who it was. As the face continued to move towards me, it seemed to go “through” me, and then it was gone. About a second later, another very different eye appeared, attached to a very different face, following the exact same movement pattern..and then another..and another, etc. All in all, I was privileged to see somewhere around 10 different people whom I didn’t know but who seemed strangely familiar. Some of them were women, some were men, some were old, some were young, some had green eyes and some had brown. After I cycled through all the people, they were gone permanently and didn’t re-materialize. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get them to re-appear, so I allowed myself to open my eyes and revel in the amazing experience.

Something to point out before I go on is, I am pretty sure I was awake during this procedure. I felt in control of the situation despite the fact that I couldn’t control “who” I saw, but that I knew it was happening and could open my eyes at any moment if I decided I wanted to end the experience. Another fact here is, all of the “eyes” that I saw were either green or brown. This is interesting because these are the eye colours on the Italian side of my family. My father and I both have green eyes, but my grandfather had brown. The familiarity also went well beyond the eyes–I just felt like I should know each and every one of them. My conclusion to this is, I think these were actually ancestors. It may sound very strange to the average person, but my intuition seems convinced of this, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years, it’s to trust the “inner me” because usually it is trying to tell me something. I feel lucky that they decided to introduce themselves, and the faces are now etched on my brain–I don’t think I will ever forget them now.

I think experiences like these just reaffirm to us as humans that there is so much about the world (or worlds) that we just don’t understand, and we probably never will. I don’t think this is a bad thing, as I think that, knowing everything about all things would take away the mystery of the meaning of life..