Into the Darkness

Sometimes I think it would be fascinating if, just for a few minutes, we could get a glimpse inside the consciousness of another person–not in an invasive way and not to read their thoughts or criticize their conclusions, but just for the added reassurance that we are similar to another person mentally. I equate this to being a student, and working on an assignment where the directions are not quite as clear as they should be. If you look around, you’ll see other people glancing at the paper of their neighbour–not to copy the work of another person or to let someone else do the thinking, but more just to make sure one is “on the right track”.

For the most part, I tend to feel that, if someone were to step into my head and look around, they would probably run away in fear. I do wonder though, whether other people think the exact same thing and perhaps I am indeed, fairly normal as far as normal goes. I tend to be particularly protective of my dreams, because dreams to me are a re-enactment of the soul, either for what happened or what perhaps SHOULD HAVE happened. Sometimes though, my dreams go a few steps farther and take on a psychic nature. These are the ones where I truly wonder if I am unique, or if everyone else has these as well.

Recently, I had what I will call “an un-dream”, because clearly it cannot be described as a dream. When one is first falling asleep, there is that period of total darkness but an element of consciousness is still apparent–meaning, you know you’re awake but that you’re heading down the path to unconsciousness. Sometimes when I’m in this state, I can see little flashes and shadows, but they never take on a specific form and they’re gone as quickly as they appeared. I didn’t know it was possible to form objects out of the darkness, until today when I had an amazing un-dream experience. As I was drifting off to sleep, the shadows came–but this time, they formed, in the distance, one perfect, human, green eye. It was moving very slowly towards me, and as it got closer, I was able to pick out the face that accompanied the eye. It was a familiar face, yet I didn’t know who it was. As the face continued to move towards me, it seemed to go “through” me, and then it was gone. About a second later, another very different eye appeared, attached to a very different face, following the exact same movement pattern..and then another..and another, etc. All in all, I was privileged to see somewhere around 10 different people whom I didn’t know but who seemed strangely familiar. Some of them were women, some were men, some were old, some were young, some had green eyes and some had brown. After I cycled through all the people, they were gone permanently and didn’t re-materialize. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get them to re-appear, so I allowed myself to open my eyes and revel in the amazing experience.

Something to point out before I go on is, I am pretty sure I was awake during this procedure. I felt in control of the situation despite the fact that I couldn’t control “who” I saw, but that I knew it was happening and could open my eyes at any moment if I decided I wanted to end the experience. Another fact here is, all of the “eyes” that I saw were either green or brown. This is interesting because these are the eye colours on the Italian side of my family. My father and I both have green eyes, but my grandfather had brown. The familiarity also went well beyond the eyes–I just felt like I should know each and every one of them. My conclusion to this is, I think these were actually ancestors. It may sound very strange to the average person, but my intuition seems convinced of this, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years, it’s to trust the “inner me” because usually it is trying to tell me something. I feel lucky that they decided to introduce themselves, and the faces are now etched on my brain–I don’t think I will ever forget them now.

I think experiences like these just reaffirm to us as humans that there is so much about the world (or worlds) that we just don’t understand, and we probably never will. I don’t think this is a bad thing, as I think that, knowing everything about all things would take away the mystery of the meaning of life..

These Dreams

I don’t remember my dreams very often, and I think the reason might be that for the most part they are insignificant piles of random thoughts and ideas; in essence, a disorganized mess. Occasionally though, I have the type of dream that just seems so real and alive that it appears to translocate the physical me to the setting of the dream, and I am not only dreaming it but living the dream. I believe this may be my subconscious’ way of letting me know that there is something here that I need to pay attention to. The fascinating part about this altered state (when I am lucky enough to have one) is that they are clairvoyant in nature and I will actually end up visiting the exact location or experience the exact event of a past dream at some point in the future. These dreams used to scare me but now I look forward to them, as they no longer suggest a veering from normality but instead represent a glimpse into the future.

I have also, on occasion, communicated via dreams with those who have passed on, and one of my favorite dreams of this nature was that of my best friend Michelle. About three months after her death, she appeared in my subconscious. In the dream I had gone to pick her up, but it was at a house that I had never seen before-I made a mental note of the house details, as it seemed to be important. I knew she wasn’t alive in the dream, but she was as I remembered her in life–good natured and full of attitude–only..there was a sense of calmness and belonging about her now..there was no conflict or inner struggles, just peace and serenity. She could fly, and she took me all over the world. We saw everything she missed out on in a life that was so tragically cut short for her. After seeing the world, we went higher, past the clouds and into the stars. Here each star was surrounded by beautiful multicolored auras, which seemed to resemble bubbles-they were almost like shields protecting each star from harm, as I was being protected by her. As long as I was with her, I was invincible-I didn’t need oxygen and the laws of gravity did not apply..we could float around up there until forever and a day. I don’t remember everything we did, but I do remember an amazing sense of inner peace. There were no constraints of time as we floated, talked, and laughed..we did everything we would have been doing had she been alive. The dream seemed to go on and on, and I remember thinking that I never wanted it to end. I realized both in the dream and when I woke up, that this is how I wanted to remember her because this is what she is now–a free spirit of peace and tranquility. She sent me a message that night and I believe I recieved it loud and clear–she simply wanted me to know that she was everywhere–she is, for lack of a better phrase, a part of all of us. Just like the bubble-stars, she is my aura..